Cancer. It’s a big word. It brings big feelings. It has a number of huge implications just hearing that word. It also carries a spectrum. Sometimes super treatable, sometimes an instant death sentence. Sometimes everywhere in between, but always bad news, and always a litany of unknowns.

My moms brother died of cancer. Her mom had cancer. My dad’s grandma had cancer. They’re not even the only ones… there have been many in my extended family who’ve fought this battle. I’ve known it’s in the family… but it’s always felt removed, not IN the family.

But about four weeks ago the first news hit: Grandma, my only living grandparent. My wonderful 89 year old, piano playing, Jesus loving, mountain moving prayer warrior Grandma. Stage three. Colon. I cried. It was hard news. When I hugged her this summer I knew it *might* be the last time, but I didn’t actually think it WOULD be the last time. It might not have been- I could still hug her once more! Two weeks ago she had a third of her colon removed, and today she got on an airplane for a trip to Florida with her girlfriends. She’s a fighter! She didn’t care what the doctors said to her, as long as the answer to her question, “Can I still go on my trip to Florida?” was a yes.

A few days ago, I was enjoying chatting on the phone with my mom. I was washing dishes; she was telling me about the progress of the book she’s been working on writing for two years. At some point in the casual conversation, she mentions her plans for the day. With the time difference, I’m winding down my day, she’s winding hers up! Her annual physical was on the calendar for the day!

Y’all have just undergone daylight savings, which means there is an hour where before a phone call would catch me awake, now it catches me in bed, so when the phone rang at 11pm, I rolled over, saw it was my mom, rolled my eyes and went back to sleep. She must’ve forgotten the time change.

The next day, I’m just wrapping up one of my classes when the phone rings again. I’m teaching, I can’t answer it… I continue my day, am on prep period in the copy room and miss a third call from my mom. Students come back for the after-school help time, and it rings again. By now I’m worried. I know this means bad news. Four attempted phone calls in less than twenty-four hours when we had just chatted for two hours. I call her back once I’m safely in the confines of my own home. The annual physical was followed by a mammogram, which was almost instantly followed by an ultra-sound, which led to the scheduling of a biopsy the next day. Results would be in come Monday or Tuesday.

On Sunday I made a game plan. I asked a friend if I can come to her house and schedule a phone date with my mom for the news. I was alone for Grandma’s news just a couple weeks ago… I didn’t want to be alone again for this one. Tuesday, 8pm my time. Noon in Michigan.

Monday starts off on the right foot, I actually wake up for my morning workout, and get myself a nice cup of coffee to start the day. I’m in my classroom by 7am, getting some things prepped and ready for the day. At 7:20, I head to the copy room to run my exam review guides. It’s low on paper so I go on the hunt for more, not an easy task when no offices are opened yet. I manage to find a ream in the library and bring it back to the copy room only to discover a paper jam. I manage to unjam the copier but change the orientation of the paper to avoid further jams since that’s helped before. This just means the staple is now in the wrong corner. I chuckle at the misfortune of my students receiving the ill stapled papers, only to facepalm as a power blip jams the copier once more and erases the print/copy queue in the machine. The machine is finally back on and ready to rock and roll when the warning bell for first period rings. Guess I’ll have to run more during the passing period for the next class.

“Just another manic Monday…” starts to play in my head as I walk into class with a dramatic flair. I recount the saga of the morning, adding much flourishing as I wax eloquence on the drama of it all, creating sound effects and gesturing emphatically with my arms to show how I deduced the locations of the paper jam, pulling out drawers and opening compartments. The recanting of the tale was actually quite fun and took out completely the stress of a scrambled morning.

We’ve been waiting for what seemed like weeks. During first term, the ‘interim’ trips are picked. The last week of term two, all the jr. and sr. students leave campus on a week-long trip across Kenya, or in the surrounding countries. They combine tourism with seeing the context of other ministries than their parents in the surrounding areas. They are a lot of fun, and often highly impactful on the students. Last year, the staff assignments were really difficult to navigate for the interim director, and I ended up on a less-than-desirable trip (initially- there were lots of changes where the Lord worked heavily in my heart, but that’s a story for another time), so I had my bar set low. I’d submitted the survey form but hadn’t heard anything yet. Sometimes the interim director texts you with questions, but essentially, you may or may not be assigned to chaperone a trip and after submitting the survey, you just hope for the best! Right at the end of 5th period… the email came: INTERIM STAFF ASSIGNMENTS. I’ve been picked! I’ll be going on a trip! I am leading with…. oh! I don’t really know them! This’ll be fun to get to know the other staff member. From what I do know, they and their family seem pretty cool. Students!? No student assignments yet. Just staff so far. I’M PUMPED. It’s even one of the trips I wanted to do. I struggle to contain my excitement. Who am I kidding? There was no containment. My entire 5th period knew I was excited to go on my assigned interim.

At the end of lunch my friend brings me a teacher’s version of pure gold: a box of expo markers. She is leaving for home assignment in a couple of weeks and graciously gave me her unused brand name brought from America extras. I was thrilled. Adding to my stash meant I could pull out a new marker! I picked purple. I was bubbling over with enthusiasm as my students filtered into the room for sixth period. I proudly showed off my new prize, then as students went to the board to fill in homework answers, I announced THIS marker could not be touched. They have a basket they can use, and THIS purple marker was not for general use. It was special. After stamping their homework, I returned to the front of the room to check the answers on the board and take questions over the homework. I looked around for the purple marker.

It was gone.

I instantly had flashbacks to a particular group of boys at my last school. Rookie mistake. I’d done this before. They think it’s funny. I made a big deal about the marker. They hid it in humor. Oh golly. When was I going to learn. After making a plea to my class, no marker was procured. I moved to bribery. Smarties to the student who rats out their friend. Sweeten the deal with a dum-dum too? Surely two candies would lead to a rat. Nope. Nothing. Nobody is spilling. I finally begin the lesson. I mope. I whine. FINALLY a tentative hand goes up, “Miss Galloway? Did you check your back pocket?”

No. No I hadn’t thought to look in the place I had put it to protect it. I gave him the smarties. I taught with the dumdum in my mouth, laughing at my own idiocrasy well into the start of our lesson.

I sit down for a taco dinner and notice another email notification show up on my phone. STUDENT INTERIM ASSIGNMENTS!!! I look at my list. Some of my AP Chem girls from last year I’m really close with are on my trip! My cookie-crew of guys are on this trip! So many students I love! My mind was blown as I looked at group after group and each time said to myself, “Oh! What a good group. I just love those students.” So really, I don’t think I would’ve been disappointed no matter WHAT group of students I had, but it is certainly fun that some of the students I’ve been working to cultivate intentional relationships with are in my assigned group. I texted my friend, “Can I come over? I need someone to freak out about interim with.” So I did. We spent an hour debriefing both of our excitement, looking at different groups, being excited for the students together. As I left her house I said something without even thinking about it,

“I’m so thankful the Lord gives us good with the hard.” I knew my phone meeting with my mom was today. And it was SO nice to have so many fun and positive moments yesterday. So much exciting news, even as I anticipated the hard news potentially coming.

As the clock neared 7pm- an hour till our meeting- tonight, my nerves started to flutter. I sat down at the piano, picking a few worship songs to plunk out to pass the time.

“All my life you have been faithful… all my life you have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.”

“Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you… through it all, through it all it is well…”

The lyrics of the songs I’d played were running through my head as I walked over to my friends house for moral support. I plunked down next to their sweet pupper and answered the phone. My mom tried to make small talk but I said NO. Ya gotta just tell me!

“Brace yourself.” she says. “It’s breast cancer.”

… it is well… with my soul…

“I go in for an MRI tomorrow, we’ll learn more from there.” I’m so encouraged by my mom’s positive attitude and faith in the Lord’s ability and willingness to heal, but what was the most encouraging were actually the words she shared on Thursday, back when all we knew as a biopsy was being done.

“He saved my life from the pre-eclampsia when your older sister was born. He saved my life from the post-partum when your younger sister was born. He saved my life from my tree accident when I broke five vertebrae seven years ago. He saved my life in the motorcycle accident last spring. God is sovereign, God is in control. If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go. If it’s not, this just becomes another part of my testimony and story of God’s faithful healing from cancer. I can’t wait to see God work.”

And so I wait. I look and see the good gifts, the wonderful things God gives and brings. I see the sovereignty of his hand. I see his faithfulness in providing a friend I could ask to sit with me while I got the news. A friend who was eaves dropping and laughed as my mom said, “I’m glad I could keep you a-breast of the situation.” A friend who was so kind in pointing out my mom’s incredible strength and positive attitude. A friend who has lived here many years, who has walked a similar journey with her mother-in-law and could help me process what it can look like to support from afar, what it looks like to say, if the time comes, it’s okay to think about plane tickets, but it’s also okay to realize, you’re nowhere near that time yet. A friend who was willing to pray with me before I came back home.

I’m thankful for the good. I’m thankful for the hard. One reminds me of Gods faithfulness, the other reminds me of my need to remember God’s faithfulness. Either way, I get to walk in faithful footsteps to the Lord in one new way of trust that I haven’t had to walk before.

Prayer & Praise Points

• PRAISE: I wrote this the night we found out the cancer was there…News came in a couple of days later showing Mom’s cancer is pretty early in stage 1… interpretation, SUPER treatable!
• Healing. Would you pray for healing for Grandma’s cancer, and for Mom’s cancer? I’ve also found out in the same time frame of two other people in my circle that have other forms of cancer, and it’s just heavy.
• Wisdom. Would you please pray that the Lord would give me peace during this journey, whatever that may look like in the coming days, and wisdom for how to respond and support from afar?
• Finals week is this week! It’s bitter sweet… finals means extra work, and the coming end of term! But it kinda swallows up Thanksgiving, and it can be hard to miss the holiday… even though we usually as a campus celebrate over the weekend.
• Interim! I know the actual trips are far away, but would you pray the planning/booking process would go smoothly? Would you also be praying for the students on my trip, that the Lord would use this trip as an opportunity for some really neat intentional conversations, mentoring and discipleship?