This week, the goodbyes are not mine to have. I get to say hello as students once more flood our campus in preparation for the new school year!

But this year feels a little different. I know the students and I’m starting to know some parents. I’ve seen them around, interacting on various drop off and pick up days, on mid-terms, or even sitting by one another at a sporting event.

One set of parents, I worked closely with last year as they were on staff short term to help their son transition to life at RVA. They’re staying with me this week for drop off, and I’m getting to see and feel a little more of the depth of what it means for the parents to leave their kids with us.

As I write this, they’re sitting at my dining room table writing notes. “For when you’re stressed” the front reads. “For when you’re sad” another says. The idea? It came from their 15-year-old son… he texted them, “I talked to the guys and they said their moms write them notes to have.” The guys. While it’s easy to think our students are independent, inside, they still want their moms. They’re still children, not quite ready to move out and spread their wings, yet here they are, managing their days at boarding school.

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I’ve connected with a 10 year old sibling of some kiddos I love while she’s been here dropping them off. The youngest of 5, she’s happy to run around with my puppy in my yard and offer me candy without me knowing it’s basically a super sour warhead. She’s been clingy to her older sister, and in my face seeking attention any moment she’s seen me in the past couple days- except at church this morning. In true moping fashion, her head was down and her shoulders drooped as her downcast face didn’t notice me walking by. I prodded her shoulder and attempted to engage her. Mom gave her a reassuring squeeze and gently whispered to me over her head, “Today is hard for her.” The realization washed over me. Her 8th, 10th and 12th grade siblings will be here, while her oldest brother has already graduated. In a country without many other missionaries, all her playmates are leaving. My heart broke.

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I chatted with one of my favorite students moms a couple days ago, asking how his settling into college was going. She laughed as she described his dilemma in not knowing which of three very similar majors to pursue as he worked out his first semester schedule. “He called me yesterday at 5:30 am.” she said. “If it had been ANYONE but him, I’d have been mad…” He didn’t quite have the time change down after moving across the ocean for University. Here early for new student orientation for her youngest, I asked her how she was doing. “Well, I still haven’t recovered yet from dropping the first two off at college last week…” she admitted. “I’m not quite ready to be an empty nester…”

In America, you wouldn’t expect to be when your youngest is just 14, but here at RVA, our students’ parents are sometimes empty nesters even younger. Helping with tours, I had a (non-American) mom chatting with me about her kids, a similar situation where she’s dropping off her youngest now, in 7th grade. While I know she’ll miss him, it was hard not to catch the edge of excitement she had at having all her kids out of the house.

We’ve prayed each term for the families dropping off their kids, and for the students as they transition from bush/desert/ocean or any other topography life to the paradise like state of RVA, but this term I’m seeing it afresh. I’m seeing it through the eyes of a parent. I’ve thought about it, but haven’t ever quite been able to grasp the gravity of what boarding school means. Watching my friend text her son, or her husband ask her, “Do you think he needs me to play basketball with him today?” has given me an inside picture of the reliance these youngsters truly still have on their families. I’m not a parent yet myself, but my heart is broken watching the separation that happens for these kids to receive a quality education.

Lord, help us love them well.

Prayer Points

-Will you pray for the parents who are dropping their kids off for a 13 week school term?

-Will you pray for the siblings being left behind that will miss their brothers and sisters like crazy?

-Will you pray for our new students, unsure of how to navigate life at RVA?

-Will you pray for our staff, for wisdom in how to love our students well, no matter our role, teacher, mentor, student health, dorm parent etc.?